So many of us walk around looking fine.
But beneath the surface, we are nursing deep physical, spiritual and emotional wounds. We feel isolated in our pain. We feel ashamed or embarrassed to talk about our hidden hurts.
We feel guilty about the private doubts we have about God and His goodness: Where is He? Why would He allow this suffering?
We desperately need support. We crave answers. Fear or shame keeps us quiet.
We live alone with our invisible wounds.
I did. For 20 years.
In my newest book, Invisible Wounds: Hope While You’re Hurting, I’m tackling the tough spiritual questions and dark, raw emotions I’ve had as I’ve walked this long, lonely, difficult road of chronic pain and illness — both mine and my son’s.
This book doesn’t just tell my story. Seven brave, beautiful women share their invisible wounds in these pages, too. Sharing their pain for this book often brought them to tears. Yet, each one gladly went to some very dark, vulnerable places. They believed God wanted to use their heartache to relieve someone else’s.
Ultimately, each of our difficult roads have led us to the hope that heals.
It is a familiar visitor in our minds and hearts.
As moms, our internal dialogue can be overwhelming at times, telling us how we’ve fallen short, the things we should or shouldn’t have done, reminding us of all the moms who seem to do it better.
My response to the crushing guilt was to try to be the mom I thought I “should” be or to squeeze myself into someone else’s mothering mold.
After all, they were clearly doing it better. Maybe if I just used their formula, I’d get the outcomes I wanted or the perfect children I thought I should be raising. Maybe then the guilt would stop and the joy would start.
But it never worked, leaving me feeling like an even bigger failure. Sigh. So what does work? Joy came and guilt began to flee when I started to embrace the unique mom God made me to be and unique children He gave me.
In my book, Mothering from Scratch, co-authored with Kathy Helgemo, you’ll find lots of solid biblical truth. It will help you:
- explore your personality and examine your strengths and weaknesses in order to find what works for you.
- tap into the resources surrounding you and get mentoring and support from other moms.
- push past the fear of change or doing it wrong and allow room for grace in your mothering.
What moms are saying:
I have spent the last month yelling less, instructing more instead of immediately correcting and being more gentle with my tone. I owe so much of it to Mothering From Scratch, by Melinda Means and Kathy Helgemo. I have to make the choice daily to do the work, but they helped me see the tools for being the mom I want to be. ~ Grace A.
I absolutely love this book … Kathy and Melinda, are very transparent and down to earth in their writing. I felt encouraged just reading the introduction! This book will be a real blessing to any mother, at any stage. You will come away with a feeling of not being such a bad mother after all but rather a mother just like many around you who look like they must be a better mother than you. ~ Micah D.
Some of my best friends mother completely differently than me, and I love how I am now free from judging their styles or trying to be like them and I can recognize that what works for them does not work for me, and THAT’S OK! In fact, it is more than ok, it is GREAT! … If you are trying to find freedom from being Super Mom or from feeling like you’ll never measure up, READ THIS BOOK! It is that life-changing! ~ Suze H.